A Spine is a Terrible Thing to Waste

In the Ultimate Discovery System the Reserved/People Oriented individual is the High S type. The High S is Supportive, Steady, Stable, Sweet, Sensitive and Shy. They are like the friend that sticks closer than a brother. However, sometimes the High S type can be afraid to share their thoughts in certain situations. It’s a tendency that they need to be aware of so that when the time is right, they can gather courage, straighten up their spine and speak out.

Let’s look at a situation that you may relate to. Possibly you have some High S players on your team at work. Knowing they have a natural tendency to remain quiet, you may find it a good idea to tell them in private, before the meeting, that you would like to hear their thoughts. Consequently, prior to closing the meeting, remember to turn to the High S and ask, “Do you have any information to share with the group?” Many times you will find that they have formulated the solution to an important problem you have been discussing in your meeting. However, because of their nature, they were hesitant to bring it up in front of the whole group. This is a natural fear that grips the High S type. If you have told the High S up front what is expected during the meeting, they can begin to prepare for their turn in the spotlight. While they may be nervous throughout the meeting waiting for their turn to speak, in the end, by giving them fair warning, the results that you are seeking will be better than had you put them on the spot in front of the entire team.

If you do not have High S tendencies and are working with a High S type, it is in your best interest to have patience with them. They are wonderful people, even if their pace does not match yours. The High S types make great teammates! They are tremendous finishers because they will stick with the project to the very end.

If this reserved/people oriented style seems like your personality, I encourage you to muster up the confidence and speak. You have great perspectives that others need to hear. To piggyback off an old saying…Remember, ‘A spine is a terrible thing to waste!’

The Pizzazz of the Inspiring Personality

The Ultimate Discovery System tells us that the Outgoing/People Oriented individual is the High I type. The High I is Inspiring, Influencing, Interactive, Impressive and Involved. Where ever the High I treads, a good time is sure to follow!

I must confess that I understand the High I style the least! However, I admire their ability to get up in front of others at a moments notice and speak. Even though they may not know the topic well, they instinctively know how to paint a picture in vivid colors and while adding enough pizzazz to make the topic sound remarkable!

The High I’s outlook on life is naturally very positive. They love to see the good, the pure and the positive in everything that they do. Their attitude is infectious. What natural born leaders they are! They are instinctive visionaries who can see things that other types may not and they have the ability to convey that vision in words. What a gift!

High I’s love to attend parties with lots of people, because they can meet many new friends. In fact, they usually will become the life of the party and we will all have a better time because of their presence! I once saw an ad in a newspaper that stated – “Rent a Party Guest…charming, witty, sure to make your party a success!” What a dream job for the High I style!

We can learn so much from the personality types which are opposite from ours. I, for one, am very thankful for the people in my life with High I traits…they add pizzazz to my life!

The Magic of the Dominant Personality

As you may know, I am a Certified Behavior Consultant, specializing in teaching the Ultimate Discovery System. This Ultimate Discovery System is based on the DISC Model of Human Behavior. On occasion, I believe that the High D (the Outgoing, Task Oriented Individual) gets a bad rap because they are Dominant, Direct, Demanding, Determined, Doers. They can be intense and focused individuals who love nothing more than to get results!


A few years back I saw a High D in action at the airport as my family and I were leaving for a vacation to Disneyland. I was quite impressed with the manner in which this High D used his God given personality and worked his ‘magic’ to help all of us in a very crowded airport that morning.

As you know, since September 11, 2001, flying has become very stressful and can be time consuming waiting in long lines for heightened security. This particular morning, we were flying out of the Humphrey Terminal in Minneapolis (the smaller of the two terminals) which is not particularly set up well to handle large crowds. Many charter and smaller regional airlines will fly out of the Humphrey Terminal and unfortunately, it seems that they all like to schedule their outgoing flights in the early morning.

We parked our car and started into the terminal, arriving about an hour before our departure, thinking we had plenty of time to maneuver through the various checkpoints and to catch our flight. When we entered the terminal, we were stopped by the throng of people trying to check-in and ultimately make it through the security check point. This was our first experience flying out of this terminal, and as luck would have it, we chose the wrong line. After about twenty minutes, we had made enough progress through the line to unfortunately discover that we were not in the line to check-in for our flight, but instead were in the long line to get through security! We scooted out of that line and dashed toward the shorter line to check-in for the flight. At this point, we had only 35 minutes left to catch our flight.

As we were racing back to the security line after checking in for our flight, we heard his voice. “May I have everyone’s attention.” he said authoritatively. Silence. Everyone stopped in their tracks and was quiet. “My lines are now operating at 30 seconds per person,” he told everyone. “If you set off the metal detector, we have to take you out of line and use the wand. That will slow the line down to 1 minute and 10 seconds per person. So take everything out of your pockets. Remove your shoes and take your laptop computers out of their cases. You can help me keep this line moving.”

“Does anyone have a 7:15 flight?” We raised our hands with several others in line. “I’m watching you. If you’re not to the front of the line in 10 minutes, I’ll walk you to the front of the line so you can make your flight.”

“Does anyone have a 7:00 flight?” Three hands went up. “Follow me.” He quickly verified their tickets and escorted them through the line. He confidently made eye contact with each individual. He was assertive and respectful. He was in complete control.

I was amazed in watching this professional handle this situation. To me, this was the epitome of a High D under control. He was:

• Dominant (took charge of the situation)
• Demanding (expected everyone to follow his orders)
• Determined (would get us to the gate on time)
• Doer (He made it happen)
• Dictatorial (He was in-charge)
• Diligent (efficient)
• Dynamic (full of energy for his job)

And thanks to all of his great qualities, we were able to lower our stress level and not worry about missing our flight. It was a great start to a magical vacation!

Wisdom Words - perspective

“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.”

~ William Arthur Ward

Dare to do more and become more.

How Do You Learn?

If I have a task to accomplish, I like to know the directions or be able to ask questions from someone who has already accomplished what I am trying to do. However, my wife is opposite; she will jump right into the task and get started without having to understanding everything.

The other night, our children wanted us to play a new card game with them. My oldest daughter (who is a lot like me) began to explain all the rules of the game. She showed us each card and told us what that card meant. She continued with examples of things that could happen during the game. By this time, my wife had listened to more directions than she wanted to hear and interjected. We began playing. The first round was a little bumpy but we then got the hang of it and had a great evening of fun, laughter and memory making. The next day, my wife shared something with me. She said she listened to very little of the directions given. She said she could not WAIT to just start playing the game, so she could understand how the game worked. Thank goodness we understand our opposite learning styles!

The Model of Human Behavior suggests that the population can generally be split into two types of behavior…one is more Outgoing and the other is more Reserved. These two types seem to learn differently. Outgoing individuals (my wife) like to go and do, move and shake…make something happen! Reserved individuals (me) like to stay with the tried and true, move a little slower through life to enjoy it!

In order to understand something, the Outgoing personality will jump in and begin to experience it. From that experience, this personality begins to understand it. However, the Reserved personality takes the opposite approach. They want to study and learn what is required in order to understand it, before they will try and experience it. Neither approach is right nor wrong; they are just different. Both methods work for that particular behavior type.

Think about someone that you have a relationship with. Are they more outgoing or more reserved? Which behavior toward starting a new task do they display? If they happen to be the opposite type from you, their approach to the task may give you challenges. Maybe you had a hard time understanding their behavior. Remember, it’s your differences that make each of you unique!

Wisdom Words - attitude

The only one thing I can change is myself, but sometimes that makes all the difference. ~Anonymous

What might you need to change about your perspective or your attitude to become a more effective communicator?

Conversation is like Currency

Conversation is like currency - the more interchange, the healthier the economy. However, remembering your objective is important.

Are you interviewing for a job? The conversation during an interview is very important. The direction it heads can make the difference between 'getting hired' and 'just another applicant'. Think of it as a ping pong match. Keep your communication going back and forth. Refrain from one-word answers like 'yes' and 'no'. Talk long enough so the potential employer can get to know you a little. Yet, remember that it is OK for you to get to know the company as well. Do a little homework ahead of time, then you will be able to ask a couple questions to the interviewer. This shows your interest in their company as well as your leadership skill set. By remembering these few keys, you will be richer because of your experience.

Are you meeting a long lost friend for lunch on a week day? This conversation has a time limit. While it is exciting to connect with your pal after a long absence, keep in mind your commitment to your employer. There most likely will be time to 'catch-up' after business hours or on the weekend. The richness lies not in the amount of time spent with this friend, but in the quality of the conversation. Be upfront and honest about the number of minutes you have available for this particular experience - they will understand and honor you for your integrity.

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